⌨️ Last weekend, in a bar on New York City’s Lower East Side, I was talking to some strangers when one of them revealed the most peculiar but intriguing quirk. I asked them what their favorite word is, to which one of them replied, stewardesses.

“Because I am left-handed, and it is the longest word on a traditional keyboard that can be typed using only the left hand."

Organizing words into left hand/right hand divisibility was a passion of his, he explained. Not quite a compulsion, but definitely outside the so-called “normal” range of interest. Everyone in his family had a different version of their own quirk. His father, for instance, would automatically convert letters on license plates into numbers and divide the entire string of numbers by 3 or 9.

Enthralled, I tested more of my new acquaintance’s knowledge. He explained that there are more left-hand only words than right-hand only words because the left hand position contain A and E. He told me that the longest non-scientific word on the right hand is lollipop. He knew the longest sentence that could be strung together using only the left or right, but it was so nonsensical I can’t recall what it was.

He then asked me what my favorite word is. I told him it was glizzy (because it’s impossible for me to say without laughing), and he immediately told me that it’s a balanced word with an equal distribution of right-hand and left-hand letters, although it’s imperfect because the hands don’t alternate, unlike skepticisms, which is the longest word that can be typed in perfect alternation.

Naturally, I tested my new rain man with a few more words, and sure enough, his ability to divide or count them was practically instantaneous. My mind was blown from the interaction and I have thought about it everyday since.

I am now thoroughly convinced that there should be words for left-hand and right-hand typable words, as well as for the words that are equally typed by right and left. I wonder what implications the design of the keyboard has had regarding the language used on the internet— I mean, is the keyboard one of the only products that actually favors lefties? And more importantly… why is there not a space on the web to catalog these words, track them, and explore this hobby? It feels exactly like the type of niche that should exist somewhere online. If you’re aware of it, please let me know. If not, I may need to take action…